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Want to be a stockbroker?

  1. Luckyphill

    564 Posts.

    A young man named Rick is given an interview for the position of stock broker with a large Investment firm. What follows is an excerpt of this interview.

    Interviewer: Rick I noticed you were a student at Harvard in the Business program.

    Rick: Yes Sir I was. Unfortunately someone caught me cheating on the finals and I was expelled without graduating.

    Interviewer: You realize this impacts your employment opportunities.

    Rick: I definitely do sir. That paper would have made a big difference in my life.

    Interviewer: Rick I want to test your knowledge of finance. I will give you a term and you tell me what you think it means.

    Rick:No problem.

    Interviewer:Fundamental Analysis

    Rick:Fundamental analysis is a psychiatric term where the subject participates in amusing exercises and the results are used to obtain a quantitative measurement of mental state.

    Interviewer: P/E Ratio.

    Rick: Did you say pee ratio?

    Interviewer: Yes Rick.

    Rick: Oh yes. The pee ratio. Well the pee ratio is in fact a urine test. This test determines within 5% accuracy which days a woman is likely to go on her period.

    Interviewer: Short Squeeze

    Rick: The short squeeze is an exercise that a freshman to a school or a rookie to a team or job must endure. It is a form of initiation. A painful one , I might add.

    Interviewer: That's all the question I have Rick.

    Rick: How did I do.

    Interviewer: Let me put it this way for you Rick

    You have a history of cheating, can't get a job anywhere else, don't know what you are talking about but can shoot the baloney with the best of them. I'd say you are perfect for the job.

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