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Trashy Signs and Slogans

  1. AlphaCenturian

    10,543 Posts.

    He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana,

    I got a sweater for Christmas.
    what I really wanted was
    a screamer or a moaner.

    Which is worse, Ignorance or Apathy?

    I don't know and I don't care.

    Preserve the Spotted Owl
    (in formaldehyde)

    - customer service notice -

    Helen Waite is now in charge of all rush orders.
    If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite.

    No one ever says, "It's only a game."
    when their team is winning.

    I still miss my ex.
    but my aim is getting better!

    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    A man rushed into the doctor's office
    and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
    The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.
    You'll just have to be a little patient."

    If you think there is good in everybody,
    you haven't met everybody.

    I Live in my own little world,
    But it's OK,
    Everyone knows me here.


    It's a small world so you
    have to use your elbows a lot.

    If a thing is worth doing
    it would have been done already.

    If your voting could really change things,
    it would be illegal.

    What if the Hokey Pokey
    really is what it's all about?

    Stop the Slaughter!
    Boycott Baby Oil!

    When things look dark,
    hold your head up high
    so it can rain up your nose.

    It may be your sole purpose in life
    to simply serve as a warning to others.

    News Item:

    It was announced today that Fairchild Electronics will be merging with Honeywell Computers. The new company will be called Fairwell Honeychild.

    Gargling twice a day is a good way
    to see if your throat leaks.

    Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

    I can't rememember whether
    I'm the good twin or the evil twin.


    People who say you can't buy happiness
    just don't know where to shop.

    Join the army
    Travel the world,
    Meet interesting people
    And kill them.

    Money does grow on trees.
    It's just that the banks own all the branches.

    A marine biologist developed a species of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

    Ray Charles is Blind.
    Ray Charles is God.

    Don't sweat the petty things.
    Don't pet the sweaty things.

    24 hours in a day
    24 beers in a case
    I think not!

    If we weren't meant to eat animals
    then why are they made of meat?

    Ham and Eggs
    A day's work for a chicken;
    A lifetime comittment for a pig.

    I was only looking at
    your nametag, honest!

    the land of the voting dead

    What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

    Don't get married.
    Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

    Be nice to your kids.
    They'll choose your nursing home.

    emordnilap is palindrome
    spelled backwards.


    They call it "PMS" because
    "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

    Two Hundred Years of History
    Unimpeded by Progress

    I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

    It's not whether you win or lose,
    but how you place the blame.

    You are not drunk
    if you can lie on the floor
    without holding on.

    After all that work,
    Alex Haley found out
    he was adopted.

    We have enough youth.
    how about a fountain of "smart"?

    When you work here, you can name your own salary.
    I named mine, "Fred".

    The original point and click interface
    was a Smith & Wesson.

    A fool and his money
    can throw one hell of a party.

    when blondes have more fun
    do they know it?

    Five days a week my body is a temple.
    The other two it's an amusement park.

    money isn't everything,
    but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

    Don't Drink and Drive
    You might hit a bump and spill something.

    If at first you don't suceed
    skydiving is not for you.

    Reality is only an illusion
    that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

    I like cats too.
    Let's exchange recipes.

    Time's fun when you're having flies.

    ......Kermit the Frog

    We are born naked, wet and hungry.
    Then things get worse.

    Red meat is not bad for you
    Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

    Police station toilet stolen
    ....Cops have nothing to go on.

    Power corrupts and
    Absolute power is kinda neat.

    If you're going to lay around the house and drink beer all day, you gotta start early in the morning.

    Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
    give the rest a bad name.

    One good thing about alzheimer's is
    you get to meet new people every day.

    Jesus saves sinners
    and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.

    I'm bored,
    heavily armed
    and I have a bible.

    But, what if I want the one in the bush?

    > Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
    to produce reproductive organs.

    Alabama state motto:

    At least we're not Mississippi

    Gaseous clouds
    have been detected
    around Uranus.

    using both hands

    The more I learn about terrorism,
    the more I understand the phone company.


    FIRST you pillage,
    THEN you burn.

    If at first you don't succeed,
    destroy all evidence that you even tried.

    To catch rabbits,
    Hide behind a bush
    and do carrot calls.

    Always give 100% at work:
    12% Monday
    23% Tuesday
    40% Wednesday
    20% Thursday
    5% Friday

    If ignorance is bliss,
    you must be orgasmic.

    The latest survey shows that
    three out of four people make
    up 75% of the population.

    Evidence has been found that William Tell
    and his family were avid bowlers. However,
    all the league records were unfortunately
    destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know
    for whom the Tells bowled.



    Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2?

    There will always be death and taxes,
    however, death doesn't get worse every year.


    In just two days from now,
    tomorrow will be yesterday.

    I always wanted to be a procrastinator,
    I just never got around to it.

    I am having an out-of-money experience.

    Remember, half the people in the world
    are below average.

    Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

    Blood is thicker than water
    and tastier, too.

    (Void where prohibited by law)

    Endless Love:
    Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles
    playing tennis

    I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

    Talk is cheap because
    the supply exceeds the demand.

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