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Tombstones

  1. mogga

    24,085 Posts.
    153
    And finally….tombstones…


    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York :
    Born 1903--Died 1942.

    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
    car was on the way down. It was.
    =============================
    In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:

    Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
    and no place to go.
    =============================
    On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
    East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

    Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
    Only the good die young.
    =============================
    In a London , England cemetery:

    Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid
    but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
    =============================
    In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:

    Anna Wallace
    The children of Israel wanted bread,
    And the Lord sent them manna.
    Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna.
    ===============================
    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:

    Here lies Johnny Yeast.
    Pardon him for not rising.
    ===============================
    In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:

    Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
    Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
    ==============================
    In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery:

    Here lays The Kid,
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger,
    But slow on the draw.
    ================================
    A lawyer's epitaph in England :

    Sir John Strange.
    Here lies an honest lawyer,
    and that is Strange.
    =================================
    John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,
    England , cemetery:

    Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
    Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
    ==================================
    In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

    On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
    ==================================
    Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls ,
    Vermont :

    Here lies the body of our Anna,
    Done to death by a banana.
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
    But the skin of the thing that made her go.
    ==================================
    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,
    Massachusetts :

    Under the sod and under the trees,
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod,
    Pease shelled out and went to God.
    ==================================
    THIS ONE IS EXTREMELY WELL WRITTEN:-
    In a cemetery in England :

    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I.
    As I am now, so shall you be,
    Remember this and follow me.
    To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    To follow you I'll not consent,
    Until I know which way you went.

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