To Slojo - from the guys at HC

  1. 2,271 Posts.
    Slojo you silly old begger, you just blew your cover bigtime!

    Off goes our gun totin keyboard tappin nemasus of p00fs and skirts, kids faithfully following dad's footsteps (cos HE'S A MANNNN, GO DAD!!!)

    Off to the wilderness, away from the smog and festering filth of the city! A place where there's no room for skirts n blouses.

    Me n a buncha me mates.
    Ahhhh this is the life.

    Campin on the c0ckie's verandah.
    Fire up the barbie.
    Out with the esky, swattin the flies and mozzies.
    Ahhh this is the life.

    Grab me gear kids, n grab me a stubby!
    Unzip the cover.
    Out comes the 22/250 Weatherby.
    9X Pecar scope.
    Fully floating barrel.
    Trigger honed to a hair.
    Breech carefully engraved "go gettum Slojo"
    Real man's gun this one!
    Ahhhh this is the life!

    Hey kids...grab me swag will ya's. That's me boys. Not like those blouses ya go ta school with. Man's country here.
    And grab me another stubby while yer there!
    Unzips the swag, opens the canvas bag, dives me hand in.
    Ahhhh look at these beauties :)))
    Gleaming shells, carefully hand loaded.
    Fast burnin powder, jammed in to the hilt.
    Fully jacketed Hornady's, tips carefully filed off.
    That'll farrkem! Real man's ammo this.
    Ahhhhh, this is the life!

    Me n me mates, gawwwwd what a wild bunch.
    Me kids, growin into real men.
    Geeeez those guys look sexy in them new shootin jackets n sunnys n earmuffs hehehe.
    Real men! Not like them friggin p00fs back at HotCopper.

    Let's go boys...time for some real man's stuff.
    Bl00dy roos n emus, stuffin up the land.
    Eatin what we should be eatin.
    Hope those blouses back home appreciate this.
    Gonna be danger out there. Roos are half starved, be like starvin grizzlies. Bet those p00fs back home have never been confronted eye to eye with a starvin roo!
    N frriggin emus, better make sure they're dead boys before we get too close. Those mean mothers can rip yer guts out with a single kick!
    Ahhhh this is the life.

    Fur n farrkin feathers flyin everywhere! You bl00dy bewdieee.
    Kids are luvin it.
    Gawwwd those guys look sexy hehehehe.
    Ahhhh this is the life!

    Back to the verandah for a hard earned beer n a barbie.
    C0ckie's gonna luv us guys.
    Savin his @rse, wastin them bl00dy flee bitten vermin.
    Grab me a beer boys.
    An a raw t-bone ... stuff the barbie! This is what real men eat kids ... gawwwd those guys look sexy :))))
    Wonder what those p00fs are doin back at HotCopper?
    Probly powderin their @rses n washin the dishes for their sissy little skirts. Frriggin skirts runnin the show. What's the joint commin to?
    Ahhhh this is the life!

    Me hands are shakin a bit.
    Must be somethin wrong.
    Look at me fingers guys, shakin a bit. Shoulda been a gynocologist, bl00dy skirts would love these shaky fingers hehehehe. Good joke hey kids? Yeah, knew ya'd like it, made it up meself.

    Ahhhh I know what's wrong.
    Grab me briefcase kids, n hurry up about it!
    N grab me another stubby, mans country out here.
    This'll farrkem.

    Unzips the trusty briefcase.
    Out she comes.
    2000 gigs
    1024 dual memory ram
    100 gig hard drive
    Ain't she a beauty!
    Satellite mounted on the roo bar.
    "Plug er in kids"
    Gonna sock it to them sooks back at HotCopper!
    Friggin old [email protected] Arthur.
    Bl00dy blouse redabyss.
    Gonna shove it up that p00fy Rembrandt (an his bl00dy skirt if she's hangin over his shoulder watching) Lettin them frriggin skirts run the show!
    Bl00dy acouch with her larrrdy darrrs. Stupid little charts, told em ta grab the cash and run!
    Ahhh this is the life!

    Fergl's the only good guy there.
    He likes me, reckons I'm a man.
    Hope he's trainin his skirt like a man trains em.
    At least mine was only for doin the dishes n breedin the kids.
    Jimjj's ok, at least he's a man, was in the war he was.
    Shame about his daks.
    Ahhhh well, sh|t happens hehehe. Man hasn't seen a good p|ssup till he's got a couple of days in his daks hehehehe .... like that one kids?
    Thought ya would, made it up meself :)

    Grab me another beer will ya's, p|ssin meself here!
    Yak's ok, at least he's a Yank .... well, half a Yank I spose. Gonna sock it up that frriggin nuke firin camal eatin Suddam! Go get im Yak! Give us a whistle if ya need a hand, I'll send me boys over ... won't I boys!
    Ahhh this is the life.

    Up comes the HotCopper screen!
    Look at em all sittin there sippin chardoney boys!
    Bl00dy buncha p00fs, gonna give it to em good this time!
    Tappppedy tap tap tap tap tap tap TAPPPP!
    ROFL, look at em runnin!
    Think they just filled their daks boys!

    What's all that gigglin?
    Me mates are gigglin...
    Me kids are gigglin...
    C0ckie's gigglin...
    Must be gigglin at them p00fs n blouses at HotCopper!

    Looks around suspiciously.
    Sh|t they're lookin at me.
    Better check me daks.
    Naaa they're ok.
    What's Macca sayin?

    I'm a computer nerd?
    I'm hooked on the net?

    BL00DY BULLSH|T!!!!!

    I'm a stupid old begger?
    I can't get me a bit of skirt?
    Tryin to beat me kids into respectin me cos everyone else larfs at me?
    Me skirt left me cos I love me pentium more than a night in the sack with her?

    BL00DY BULLSH|T!!!!!!!!

    Look at the dead roos!


    Can't be me.




    Ahhhh this is the life.
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