this is good happily married

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    I think all married men will find the following very appropriate ...

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ
    so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women think with
    their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
    thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
    just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
    husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my
    emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs
    as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
    love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
    to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
    We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
    diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited, she must have
    thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
    blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
    for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
    enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
    "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly
    over a frozen hell.
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