the length of time it will take to

get any after:

Giggling at her for getting misty at
the end of a chick flick. -4 days

Using any expression other than making love to
refer to sex. -4 days

Tone of voice that she doesn't like while
talking about her mother -5 days

Actually saying no you don't want to go when she
says.."It's okay if you don't want to go". -6 days

Shushing her during ESPN SportsCenter. -8 days.

Not allowing her to watch Desperate Housewives because
there's a Three Stooges marathon on AMC. -3 days

Bringing up the possibility of a threesome...
With her friend - 2 days
With her sister - 19 days
With her mom - 6 months

Shrugging your shoulders and grunting when she
asks how the makeup she just spent 11/2 hours putting
on looks. -2 days

Showing up 1/2 hour late because there was a really
cool police chase on TV. -3 days

Not answering quickly or vehemently enough when she
asks you if you would ever cheat on you. -12 days

Accusing her of having PMS
when she doesn't -8 days
when she does -12 days

Failing to be serious about a relationship
quiz in Cosmopolitan. -4 days

Casually remarking that if she decided she wanted
a boob job you'd be willing to pay for it. -6 days