the after life

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    An elderly couple made a deal that whoever died first would somehow come back to inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there really was no heaven.

    After a long life, the husband was the first to go and, true to his word, a few weeks later as his wife sat and watched TV, she heard a ghostly voice saying, "Maude... Maude..."

    Is that you, John? she asked as she looked in vain around the room.

    The voice responded, "Yes, Maude, I've come back just like we agreed."

    "What's it like, John?" Maude asked.

    John said, "well, I get up in the morning and I have sex. Then I have breakfast, and after that more sex. I bathe in the sun for a while and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then have sex pretty much all afternoon. After dinner I have sex until late at night and the next day it starts all over again."

    "Oh, John," Maude said, "then surely you must be in heaven!"

    "Not exactly," John said, "I'm a rabbit somewhere near Dubbo."
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