Stock market terms

  1. 18 Posts.

    BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an
    investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

    BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids
    get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the
    husband gets no ....

    MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and
    selling low.

    VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling

    P/E - The percentage of investors wetting their pants
    as the Market keeps crashing.

    BROKER - What my broker has made me.

    B"BUY"- A flight attendant making market
    recommendations as you step off the plane.

    STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

    STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split
    all your assets equally between themselves.

    FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy who actually remembers his
    wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and

    MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it
    disappears down the toilet.

    YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor
    sucker for $240 per share.

    WINDOWS 2000- What you jump out of when you're the
    sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now
    locked up in a nuthouse.

    PROFIT - Religious guy who talks to God.
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