snappy answers!

  1. 2,092 Posts.
    Subject: Snappy answers!





    Snappy Answer #1

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened

    his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir,

    I need to see your ticket, not your stub."



    Snappy Answer #2

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

    couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do

    these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're

    dead."



    Snappy Answer #3

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

    rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day", the cop

    said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could". When

    the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

    ticket.



    Snappy Answer #4

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

    reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead

    of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks

    around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got

    stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge

    and ran out of gas."



    Snappy Answer #5

    THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now

    class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I

    might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,

    or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses

    whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and

    asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from

    complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to

    stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the

    teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and

    sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

    other hand."



    BONUS Snappy Answer

    A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and

    asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one

    was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard

    of someone naming dogs like that?" "Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

    answered the blond." They're watch dogs!"



    Can't get enough? The BEST is LAST



    A pompous minister was seated next to a TEXAN on a flight to Dallas.

    After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The TEXAN asked

    for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The

    flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He

    replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than

    let liquor touch my lips." The TEXAN looked at the minister, then handed

    his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."

 
arrow-down-2 Created with Sketch. arrow-down-2 Created with Sketch.