On Marriage

  1. 184 Posts.
    Marriage...a Man's Perspective

    I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
    name was... Always.

    I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
    I don't like to interrupt.

    Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
    Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.
    The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,
    "What's on the TV?"
    I said, "Dust!"

    In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
    Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman.
    Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

    A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping
    on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in
    four days."
    She looked at him and said, "Man, I wish I had your

    Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
    Two mothers-in-law.

    Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some
    parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until
    he marries her?
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted".
    Next day he received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
    is to forget it once.

    First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
    Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

    How do most men define marriage?
    An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
    through life thinking they had no faults at all.
    If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided
    attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

    Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
    happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it
    cost to get married?"
    And the father replied,"I don't know son, I'm still paying."
arrow-down-2 Created with Sketch. arrow-down-2 Created with Sketch.