newlyweds

  1. 1,322 Posts.
    Subject: Newlywed

    A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.
    The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the
    town and party with his old buddies.

    So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

    "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

    "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
    refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
    different countries: Germany, Holland,
    Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only
    thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the
    bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
    by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"

    She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she
    was getting chills just holding it.

    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
    bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I
    won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

    "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven
    and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings,
    pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

    "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing,
    dirty words and all that..."

    "You want dirty words, cutie pie?...

    "LISTEN UP , D!CKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUKING
    BEER IN YOUR GODDAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT
    YOUR MOTHER-FUKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU
    ARE MARRIED NOW, YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!
    GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

    and, they lived happily ever after.

    Isn't that a sweet story?
 
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