New Financial Directory

  1. JWM
    319 Posts.
    NEW AGE CORPORATE & INVESTMENT ACRONYMS
    > CEO: chief embezzlement officer.
    > CFO: corporate fraud officer.
    > P/E: parole entitlement.
    > EPS: eventual prison sentence.
    > BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor
    > to mistake himself for a financial genius.
    > BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance,
    > the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
    > MOMENTUM INVESTING: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
    > VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
    > P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants
    > as the market keeps crashing.
    > BUY, BUY: A flight attendant making market recommendations
    > as you step off the plane.
    > STANDARD&POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
    > STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
    > FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy who actually remembers his wallet when
    > he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
    > MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
    > CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down
    > the toilet.
    > WINDOWS 2000: What you jump out of when you're the sucker that
    > bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
    > YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240
    > per share.
    > INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Someone who has owned equities for the last
    > two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital
    > PROFIT: Religious guy who talks to God
    >
 
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