modern diagnostics

  1. 241 Posts.
    One day, Pete complained to his friend, "my elbow really hurts. I guess I
    should see a doctor". His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer
    at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a
    doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will
    diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only
    costs $10.00."

    Peter figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample
    and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample
    and deposited the $10.00.

    The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing.
    After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

    You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy
    labour. It will be better in two weeks.

    That evening whilst thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it
    would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be

    He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool
    sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top
    it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

    He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample
    and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed
    lights, and printed out the following analysis:

    Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

    Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

    Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

    Your wife is pregnant - twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer

    And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better.

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