Memo - All AlQuada Fighters

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    From: Bin Laden, Osama
    To: All AlQuada Fighters
    Subject: The Cave

    Hi guys,

    We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the one with Garfield that says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous. However,while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns:

    First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the carpet dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning roster......... have you? I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

    Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare most of the world population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing just while we're taping. Thanks.

    Third, Food. I bought a packet of cheese and bacon balls recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my balls were gone. Consideration guys. That's all I'm saying.

    Fourth, I'm not against team chanting and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oi, Oi, Oi!" everytime I ride past on the donkey.


    Love you lots, Group Hug.


    P.S. We've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

    P.P.S. I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my bed sheets - Cut it out, Abdul, not funny anymore.
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