little old lady

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    Defense Attorney:
    Will you please state your age?
    Little Old Lady:
    I am 86 years old.
    Defense Attorney:
    Will you tell usin your own words what happened the night of April 1st?
    Little Old Lady:
    There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down besideme.
    Defense Attorney:
    Did you know him?
    Little Old Lady:
    No, but he sure was friendly.
    Defense Attorney:
    What happened after he sat down?
    Little Old Lady:
    He started to rub my thigh.
    Defense Attorney:
    Did you stop him?
    Little Old Lady:
    No, I didn't stop him.
    Defense Attorney:
    Why not?
    Little Old Lady:
    It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died 30 years ago.
    Defense Attorney:
    What happened next?
    Little Old Lady:
    He began to rub my breasts.
    Defense Attorney:
    Did you stop him then?
    Little Old Lady:
    No, I did not stop him.
    Defense Attorney:
    Why not?
    Little Old Lady:
    His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
    Defense Attorney:
    What happened next?
    Little Old Lady:
    Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him? Take me, young man. Take me now!"
    Defense Attorney:
    Did he take you?
    Little Old Lady:
    Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"
    And that's when I shot him, the little S.O.B
 
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