julia's carbon tax speech - leaked. ..

  1. 9,812 Posts.
    lightbulb Created with Sketch. 26
    Dear fellow Ooorstraliians, I come to you at this time to deliver this wonderful new tax to this wonderful nation. My vision is to build a great Ooorstralia, an Ooorstralia that leads the world in initiatives and will prosper far into the future.

    We live in a diplomatic society and value freedom of speech. But for you working families, moving forward I was delighted to consult with only Bob Brown and deliver this wonderful new tax to you, the Ooorstraliian People.

    During the election campaign indeed I did state that this Government would not implement this wonderful new tax to this nation during any Government I led, but fellow Ooorstaliian?s we need this wonderful new tax to secure our future into this century.

    I would like to thank the Independents Tony Windsor who sold his farm to Werris Creek Coal company for three times its value and for taking a seat on the Oorstraliian Climate Change Committee, Rob Joakeshott for minimizing the time I have to speak in Question time at Parliament and Mr Wiiillkeey who will get what he wants in his Poker Machine Reform.

    I wanted to tax the top 1000 pollutants in this country, but at the last minute I changed my mind and decided to tax only the Top 500. You see fellow Ooorstralian?s I have an interest in company 503 so I didn?t want to see them go down the gurgler just yet.

    I decided to release the details of this wonderful new Tax, which fellow Oorstraliians I did refer to as an ETS (hahahahaha) recently but fellow Oorstralians it will only be a tax for a short while and transition into an ETS that has the backing of Mr-Rabbott, so I decided to release this wonderful new tax at the commencement of the Winter Break at Parliament because fellow Ooorstaralian?s Mr-Rabbott has me on the ropes and I couldn?t stand a week of question time on something I have changed my mind about 100 times.

    Fellow Oorstralian?s I am also delighted to announce that only big business will pay this Carbon Tax, this mini economy I am about to create will create hundred?s of jowbs for Oorstarlians who live in Canbeerra. Fellow Oorstralians don?t despair I will compensate you if you earn under $150K for working families and $80K for single income earners. Fellow Ooorstalians like I said, you won?t have to pay any extra for this carbon tax but I will compensate you just incase.

    Fellow Ooorstalians, yes I am taxing plant food, Carbon dioxide but fellow Oorstralians even though climate change is a natural occurrence and there is no evidence that Carbon Dioxide is heating up the Earth, I needed to justify the Billions of dollars $$$ I have spent on Climate Change believers, NBN, BER, Pink Bats and the list goes on.

    Fellow Oorstalians join with me in the future of this fine nation called Oorstralia, this wonderful new tax will create many many thousands of jowbs and secure the future of many thousands of young Oorstralians.

    Thank you fellow Ooorstralians.
 
arrow-down-2 Created with Sketch. arrow-down-2 Created with Sketch.