1. Most Discussed
  2. Gainers & Losers

jokes

  1. An old man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues

    Man: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children,
    grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
    Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel,
    where I had sex with each of them three times.

    Priest: Are you sorry for your sins?

    Man: What sins?

    Priest: What kind of a Catholic are you?

    Man: I'm Jewish

    Priest: Why are you telling me all this?

    Man: I'm telling everybody.

    ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
    BROTHEL TRIP

    An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young
    girl for the night.
    Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

    "I'm 90 years old," he says.

    "90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"

    "Oh, sorry," says the old man, "How much do I owe you?"

    ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
    CALLER QUESTION

    The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller
    asked,
    "Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?"

    To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."

    ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
    SENILITY

    An old man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile.
    Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."

    "That's not senility," replied the doctor.
    "Senility is when you forget to zip down."

    ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
    BEAUTIFUL

    A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was
    sitting by his side.
    His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep
    again.

    His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few
    minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!"
    The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute."

    She said, "What happened to 'beautiful?'"

    The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off!"



DISCLAIMER:
Before making any financial decisions based on what you read, always consult an advisor or expert.

The HotCopper website is operated by Report Card Pty Ltd. Any information posted on the website has been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or needs and as such, you should before acting on the information or advice, consider the appropriateness of the information or advice in relation to your objectives, financial situation or needs. Please be aware that any information posted on this site should not be considered to be financial product advice.

From time to time comments aimed at manipulating other investors may appear on these forums. Posters may post overly optimistic or pessimistic comments on particular stocks, in an attempt to influence other investors. It is not possible for management to moderate all posts so some misleading and inaccurate posts may still appear on these forums. If you do have serious concerns with a post or posts you should report a Terms of Use Violation (TOU) on the link above. Unless specifically stated persons posting on this site are NOT investment advisors and do NOT hold the necessary licence, or have any formal training, to give investment advice.

Top