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  1. jollyroger

    5,237 Posts.

    An old man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues

    Man: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children,
    grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
    Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel,
    where I had sex with each of them three times.

    Priest: Are you sorry for your sins?

    Man: What sins?

    Priest: What kind of a Catholic are you?

    Man: I'm Jewish

    Priest: Why are you telling me all this?

    Man: I'm telling everybody.


    An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young
    girl for the night.
    Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

    "I'm 90 years old," he says.

    "90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"

    "Oh, sorry," says the old man, "How much do I owe you?"


    The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller
    "Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?"

    To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."


    An old man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile.
    Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."

    "That's not senility," replied the doctor.
    "Senility is when you forget to zip down."


    A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was
    sitting by his side.
    His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep

    His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few
    minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!"
    The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute."

    She said, "What happened to 'beautiful?'"

    The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off!"

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