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its friday humour time

  1. gse1963

    9,485 posts.
    The CIA, the FBI and the LAPD are each asked to prove their capability
    of apprehending terrorists. President Bush releases a white rabbit into
    a forest and tells each agency to catch it.

    The CIA goes first. It sends animal informants into the forest.
    They question all plant and material witnesses. After three months of
    intensive investigations the CIA concludes rabbits do not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads it bombs the forest,
    killing everything, including the rabbit. It makes no apologies; the
    rabbit had it coming, it insists.

    The LAPD go in. They come out after just two hours with a badly
    beaten bear.
    The bear is sobbing, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."

    John Howard hears about George Jnr's idea and decides to test
    Australian law enforcement agencies. He releases a white rabbit into
    Stromlo Forest, near Canberra.

    The National Crime Authority can't catch it but promises that if it
    gets a budget increase it can recover $90 million in unpaid rabbit
    taxes and proceeds of crime.

    The Victorian police go in. They're gone only 15 minutes, returning
    with a koala, a kangaroo and a tree fern, all three shot to pieces.
    "They looked like dangerous rabbits and we acted in self-defence,"
    they explain.

    The NSW police go in. Surveillance tapes later reveal top-ranking
    officers and rabbits dancing around a gum tree stoned out of their
    minds.

    The Queensland police go in. They reappear driving a brand new
    Mercedes, scantily clad rabbits draped all over them.

    The WA police actually catch the white rabbit, but it inexplicably
    hangs itself when the attending officer "slipped out momentarily" for
    a cup of tea.

    The SA and NT police join forces and beat the crap out of every
    rabbit in the forest, except the white one. They know it is the black
    ones who cause all the trouble.

    The Australian Federal Police refuse to go in. It examines the
    issues, particularly cost, and decides that because of low priority,
    high overtime and the projected expense to the AFP as a whole, the
    matter should be returned to the referring authority for further
    analysis.

    ASIO goes into the wrong forest.

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