it's a moonstruck market - hear the bulls roar

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    It's a moonstruck market - hear the bulls roar
    By Marcus Padley
    The Lookout
    November 13, 2004



    'GET your moon boots on . . . we're going to the moon" cried one colleague this week. Hardly a dealer on the desk has not got a stock miraculously entering orbit. It's a bull market. Here is a list of signs and their bear-market equivalents. Where are you?

    BULL MARKET

    · They know your name at the Flower Drum.

    · Your own trading generates more commission than your clients'.

    · You can park on any level in the car park with your "ping in, ping out" card.

    · You short-sell News Corp as it breaks through a stochastically generated 15-second Fibonacci MACD Oscillator Bollinger Band.

    · Making money is a skill you possess.

    · Your company car and your house is representative of your status and success.

    · You ask your accountant about minimising tax.

    · The dealer next to you is an aggressive, in-your-face mobile phone salesman who asks if you'd help him in booking his trades.


    Liquidity in the CFD market isn't big enough.

    · Your MD's 23-year-old son is your boss.

    · You deal for a 22-year-old bad-English cold-call client in warrants and punt that he's good for it.

    · Consumer magazines produce reports on grocery prices.

    · Compliance is something that stops you earning to your full capacity.

    · The Beacon Christmas party is full of babes.

    · Your spouse orders the 4WD with DVDs in the back seats.

    · Executives are overpaid and incompetent.

    · 90 per cent of broker research says BUY.

    BEAR MARKET

    · Your waiter asks whether you'd like a McApple Pie with that.

    · You ask your spouse if it's OK to buy a managed fund.

    · You buy an annual train ticket hoping to dodge the flu for the next 12 months.

    · You research Coles Myer for an hour, fax the client your findings, offer to visit on your way home and only then sell his 500 shares.

    · Making money is luck and you don't have it.

    · Your company car and your house is representative of your debt.

    · You question your accountant's ridiculous fees.

    · There is an empty desk next to you.

    · The CFD market is regulated by a government body with no idea what CFD means.

    · Your MD's son is in agricultural college.

    · You trace the client owing you $12,000 on a warrants trade to Fallujah.

    · Consumer magazines are the respected authorities on the rorts in the financial industry and the government sets up a watchdog authority to draft new regulatory legislation.

    · You suck up to the compliance officer to keep your licence.

    · The IRESS Christmas party is full of babes.

    · Your spouse works part-time as a traffic warden.

    · Executives are overpaid and incompetent.

    · 90 per cent of broker research says BUY.

 
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