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Investing/Business Jokes

  1. Mdawg

    735 Posts.

    Since HC is an investment/stock forum I thought I would post a compilation of a few money/investing jokes. They are not mine but I have enjoyed some of them and hope others do also.

    Living on earth may be expensive,
    but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

    An oil sheik says in a gallery:
    I really admire Picasso.
    There is nobody who was able to sell oil so expensive.

    So Bill Gates and the chairman of GM are arguing over which company is better. Bill Gates boast, " If cars grew in technology as fast as computers did, we would be driving v-32 instead of v-8, our cars would get 5000 miles to the gallon, the top speed would be mach seven. Anyway the sticker price for a car would be 50 dollars."

    And which the GM replies, " Sure, but would you really want a car that crashes 4 times a day!"

    Bear Market
    A 6 to 24 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
    Bear:
    What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.
    Bull:
    What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

    It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local paper were the main reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw and knocked around a bit, then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line: "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I don't open the store!"

    A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
    His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
    "It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

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