i was almost married

  1. 12,609 Posts.
    These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many years. First guy asks the second guy,

    "How have things been going?"

    The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy,

    "I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d."

    The first guy says in amazement, "Hey; you don't stutter anymore."

    The answer comes, " Y..e...s, I w..e..n..t t.o a
    d..o..c..t..o...r a..n..d h..e t..o..l...d m..e
    t..h..a..t i..f I s..p..e...a..k s..l..o..w..l..y I
    w..i..l..l n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r."

    The first friend congratulates him and then asks again about how he was almost married.

    "W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c...e..e a..n..d I
    w..e..r..e s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n h..e..r
    p..o..r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e d..o..g w..a..s
    s..c..r..a..t...c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k a...n..d
    I t..o..l..d h..e...r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n w..e
    a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..o u l d
    d..o t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e a..n..d s..h..e
    t..h..r..e..w t..h..e r..i..n..g i..n m..y

    "Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?" asks the first friend.

    " W..e..l..l, I s..p..e..a..k s..o s..l..o..w..l..y,
    t..h..a..t b...y t..h..e t..i..m.e s..h..e
    l..o..o..k..e..d a..t t..h..e d..o..g, h..e
    w..a..s l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s t...e..s..t..i...c...l...e...s"
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