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how's ya general knowledge ??

  1. KISMET

    1,322 posts.
    Subject : Burning Questions w/Answers


    What's the best form of birth control after 50?
    Nudity
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    45 lbs.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    45 minutes.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good
    looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Why does the bride always wear white?
    Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
    refrigerator.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the
    biggest boobs?
    The blonde, because she's 18
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
    Ask your mom.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    How do you know when you're really ugly?
    Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
    When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, what do single guys have?
    Palm Sunday.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
    Her navel.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
    Bingo machine.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Why did God create alcohol?
    So ugly people could have sex, too.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
    Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
    They name! d him Sum Ting Wong.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
    A pimp.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
    A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along
    with a recipe.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the Cuban National Anthem?
    Row, row, row your boat.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
    A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins
    "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!t."

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