how to read personal ads:

  1. 2,092 Posts.
    40-ish.....................49
    Adventurer..........Slept with all your friends
    Athletic.......................No t!ts
    Average looking.......Has a face like a basset hound
    Beautiful...................Pathological liar
    Emotionally Secure.......Medicated
    Feminist.................... Ugly ball buster
    Free spirit.................Junkie
    Friendship first.........Trying to live down reputation as a sl ut
    Fun.............................Annoying
    Gentle...................... Comatose
    Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
    New-Age..............All body hair, all the time
    Old-fashioned............Lights out, missionary position only,
    Open-minded............Desperate
    Outgoing...................Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate................Sloppy drunk
    Poet....................Depressive Schizophrenic
    Professional..............Certified B!tch
    Redhead....................Bad dye-job
    Romantic............Looks better by candle light
    Social.........Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
    Wants Soulmate........Stalker
    Widow.......Drove first husband to shoot himself
    Young at heart............Old bat
 
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