how to go to gaol in oz

Which of the following could get you a prison sentence in Australia?

(a) Training with a terrorist organisation overseas and engaging in military action against Australian and allied forces.

(b) Participating in a conspiracy of real estate agents, land valuers, solicitors, and bank representatives to sell properties at overvalued prices, resulting in great hardship for the purchasers and their dependants.

(c) Engaging in fraudulent activity against the government of a developing country.(Not only will your government make great efforts to get you back, but you will also be comforted by the many calls to cut foreign aid to that country unless you are released.)

(d) Sexually abusing small children (procured as domestic help from poor families) in a developing country. If you are lucky enough to get another passport after being charged you can get back to Australia. The Foreign Minister will express great concern over an obvious moral failing, and will surely do something to rectify the situation if only the law will allow it. Who knows, you may even get yourself a good media deal by claiming that the white-hating Cambodians framed you. Then you can resume working as a primary school teacher in Oz.

(e) Refusing to pay a fine for walking your dog off-lead.

(f) Any other suggestions much appreciated.

In light of President Bush looking to establish the USA as a kind of moral guardian of the world, Australia, as an ally, could practise a little moral guardianship within its own borders. We could start by using the justice system to curtail the sociopathic behaviour of some of its citizens rather than as a means of providing public revenue and personal windfall.

Billy