from the lefty dictionary pt1

  1. 4,217 Posts.
    activist, n. Leftist trouble-maker.

    affirmative action, n. Quotas by race, sex, and often [email protected] orientation (though never by religion or political inclination).

    Arab street, the, n. The cab driver who took your correspondent from Amman airport to the Hilton Hotel.

    bash, v.t. To make uncomplimentary remarks about a DVG. To suggest that some particular member of a DVG has moral failings. E.g. “immigrant-bashing” — opposing illegal immigration.

    bigotry, n. The open expression of conservative opinions.

    celebrate, v.t. (In such bound forms as “celebrate diversity.”) To feign whole-hearted enthusiasm for some theory, doctrine, law, ruling, or administrative fait accompli that strips you of some of your rights or property and awards them to a DVG.

    censorship, n. A refusal, on the part of the public authorities, to disburse public monies to performance artists (q.v.), transgressive artists (q.v.), and so on.

    centrist, adj. Liberal. See also mainstream, moderate.

    children, for the sake of our, n. Teachers' unions, for the sake of the.

    choice, n. The killing of human fetuses in utero, or the removal by suction of the brain of a new-born baby.

    civil rights, n. The privileges to which DVGs are entitled.

    Communist, n. A person who adheres to the economic and political theories of Karl Marx and V.I. Lenin. No member of the U.S. media knows any such person, nor ever has. Probably no such person ever existed. If such a person did exist, he or she was undoubtedly full of good intentions, though perhaps mistaken as to methods.

    controversial, adj. (Applied to a nominee for any cabinet or judicial position requiring congressional approval.) Conservative.

    deficit, n. An imbalance in state or national finances brought about by the willful refusal of the executive branch to support the ever-increasing levels of taxation required to fund the disbursements required by Congress (q.v.).

    discrimination, n. Formerly known as “freedom of association.”

    diverse, adj. (Applied to a collectivity of persons.) Containing persons of all possible skin colors, sexes, [email protected] preferences and immigration statuses, but preferably of identically mainstream (q.v.) opinions.

    drastic cuts in government services, n. Reductions in the rate of growth of the rate of growth of the public sector’s rate of growth.

    education, n. The activity engaged in by members of teacher unions, in the brief intervals between political lobbying, skills-enhancement sabbaticals, etc.

    Episcopal Church of the U.S.A., n. A dating service for h0mosexuals, funded mainly by revenues from ownership of real estate in New York City.

    gun lobbies, n. People opposed to the idea that the only armed civilians should be bank robbers.

    hate speech, n. Words that are offensive to some powerful interest group, or to self-designated representatives of a DVG.

    inappropriate, adj. True, but unmentionable for political reasons.

    inclusive, adj. Firm in the belief that no two people ought ever be treated differently by anyone at all in any context at all. Opposite of divisive (q.v.)

    International Criminal Court, n. A gathering of European and Third World left-wing jurists, committed to bringing to trial and punishing Henry Kissinger for the crime of having helped thwart a communist coup in Chile, thereby depriving the Chilean people of universal free health care and 100 percent literacy (q.v.).

    judiciary, n. A body of citizens charged with making those laws that Congress has omitted to make.

    law school, n. An institution for the inculcation of politically-correct ideas in young adults; a place where the process of extracting new rights and benefits from the Constitution (q.v.) is taught; the natural and proper aspiration for all young persons.

    legislature, n. An institution whose purpose is to identify the few dozen noisiest, wealthiest, or most troublesome of many thousand factions in a state, or in the nation, and disburse public monies to them. In the event that a faction so identified is already a recipient of public monies, the legislature must ensure that the amount disbursed increases each year.

    living wage, n. The latest wage demand by some public-sector labor union.

    mainstream, adj. (Applied to a person’s opinions.) Liberal. See also centrist, moderate.

    marriage, n. An archaic institution for the oppression of women and the abuse of children, from participation in which h0m0sexual couples are cruelly and unjustly barred.

    mean-spirited, adj. Insufficiently deferential to, or failing to acknowledge the inherent moral superiority of, some DVG.

    media, n. A program of indoor relief for unemployable intellectuals.

    military, n. A branch of the social-welfare services designated to work overseas at improving the lives of foreigners.

    moderate, adj. Liberal. See also centrist, mainstream.

    multiculturalism, n. The doctrine that persons of European ancestry are morally inferior to all other human beings.

    nativist, n. A person who believes that citizens should have rights in law that are not available to foreigners, or that illegal immigration is illegal.

    no child left behind, (slogan) No U.S. citizen should do manual work. Everyone should go to law school
 
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