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from canadian stockhouse

  1. dub

    27,803 Posts.

    The Coach had put together the perfect team for the
    Oakland Raiders. The only thing that was missing was a
    good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and
    even the high schools, but he couldn't find a
    quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then
    one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghanistan soldier with a truly
    incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into
    a 3rd-story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw
    another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100
    yards away, ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90
    mph, bulls-eye! "I've got to get this guy!" Coach said
    to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

    So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the
    great game of football, and the Raiders go on to win
    the Super Bowl. The young Afghani is hailed as the
    Great Hero of football, and when Coach asks him what
    he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his
    mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the
    Super Bowl!"

    "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says.
    "You deserted us. You are not my son."

    "I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man
    pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the
    world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

    "No, let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this
    very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The
    neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers
    were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,
    and this week your sister was raped in broad
    daylight." The old lady pauses, and then tearfully
    says "I'll never forgive you for making us move to

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