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Few Polak jokes.

  1. zero2a$mill

    14,806 Posts.
    Firing Squad
    Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a Polak, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad.
    They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!"
    They all look and the American runs away.
    Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!"
    They all hit the dust and the German escapes.
    Next up is the Polak. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"

    Road Work
    A Polak is hired to paint the lines on the road.
    On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed.
    But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.
    Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was.
    The Polak replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."

    Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.
    Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
    When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
    The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
    When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews."
    Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
    When the Polish man arrived for his interview, he was asked the exact same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?"
    The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tommorrow."
    When the Polish man arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?"
    He replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder!"

    Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?
    The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.

    Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
    A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Hindu.

    Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
    A: A new last name.

    Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
    A: "Are you sure it's yours?"

    Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
    A: Because they can't spell toboggan.

    Q: Why did the Polak sell his water skis?
    A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.

    Q: Did you see the polish submarine with a screen door?
    A: Dont laugh, it keeps the fish out.

    Q: How do you know if a Polak has been using a computer?
    A: There's whiteout on the screen.

    Q: What's the difference between a smart Polak and a unicorn?
    A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

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