felling smarter

  1. 1,322 Posts.

    Subject: Fw: FEELING SMARTER

    Question: If you could live forever, would you and
    why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we
    should not live forever, because if we were supposed to
    live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot
    live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
    --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
    all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd
    love to be skinny like that, but not with all those
    flies and death and stuff,"
    --Mariah Carey

    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
    important part of your life,"
    --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for
    federal antismoking campaign.

    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
    of my body,"
    --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
    lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
    our papers.
    We are the president,"
    --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
    by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
    --A congressional candidate in Texas.

    "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great
    country away from them.
    There were great numbers of people who needed new
    land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it
    for themselves."
    --John Wayne

    "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
    --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
    It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing
    --Al Gore, Vice President

    "I love California. I practically grew up in
    --Dan Quayle

    " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds
    could go one way or another"
    --George Bush, US President

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
    air do we need?"
    --Lee Iacocca

    "I was provided with additional input that was
    radically different from the truth. I assisted in
    furthering that version,"
    --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

    "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
    genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,"
    --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
    certain types of people."
    --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    --Bill Clinton, President

    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may
    not occur."
    --Al Gore, VP

    "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
    --Keppel Enderbery

    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March
    1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
    May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change
    in your circumstances."
    --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
    in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
    heart throughout the night.
    And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll
    be a record."
    --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

    ...Feeling smarter yet?

    Send it on to your other brilliant friends, like I am doing

    Please do not delete or alter this notice.

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