COW ECONOMICS

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    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

    > You have two cows.
    > You sell one and buy a bull.
    > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    > You sell them and retire on the income.
    >
    > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM::
    > You have two cows.
    > You sell three of them to your publicly listed
    > company, using letters of credit opened by your
    > brother-in-law at the bank, then execute
    > a debt/equity swap with an associated
    > general offer so that you get all four cows back,
    > with a tax exemption for five cows.
    > The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
    > intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned
    > by the majority shareholder who
    > sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
    > listed company.
    > The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
    > with an option on one more.
    > The public buys your bull.
    >
    > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    > You have two cows.
    > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
    > of four cows.
    > You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
    >
    > A FRENCH CORPORATION
    > You have two cows.
    > You go on strike because you
    > want three cows.
    >
    > A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    > You have two cows.
    > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
    > ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    > You then create clever cow cartoon images called
    > Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
    >
    > A GERMAN CORPORATION
    > You have two cows.
    > You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
    > eat once a month, and milk
    > themselves.
    >
    > A BRITISH CORPORATION
    > You have two cows. Both are mad.
    >
    > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    > You have two cows, but you don't know where
    > they are.
    > You break for lunch.
    >
    > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    > You have two cows.
    > You count them and learn you
    > have five cows.
    > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
    > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
    > vodka.
    >
    > A SWISS CORPORATION
    > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    > You charge others for storing them.
    >
    > A CHINESE CORPORATION
    > You have two cows.
    > You have 300 people milking them.
    > You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
    > and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
    >
    > AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    > You have two cows. You worship them.
    >
    >
 
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