1. Most Discussed
  2. Gainers & Losers

Church Newsletters

  1. nursery

    8,775 Posts.
    Church Ladies With Typewriters

    They're Back!

    Those wonderful Church Bulletins!

    Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters.

    These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were
    announced at church services:

    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

    Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
    recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

    The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermon
    tonight:'Searching for Jesus.'

    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
    those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

    Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving
    obvious pleasure to the congregation.

    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
    nursery downstairs.

    Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the
    help they can get.

    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
    church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
    Music will follow..

    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is
    Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
    several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
    person you want remembered..

    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
    and gracious hostility.

    Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
    may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

    This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
    from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
    lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use
    the back door.

    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
    Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to
    attend this tragedy.

    > ] Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
    Please use large double door at the side entrance.

    And this one just about sums them all up:

    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:

    'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Before making any financial decisions based on what you read, always consult an advisor or expert.

The HotCopper website is operated by Report Card Pty Ltd. Any information posted on the website has been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or needs and as such, you should before acting on the information or advice, consider the appropriateness of the information or advice in relation to your objectives, financial situation or needs. Please be aware that any information posted on this site should not be considered to be financial product advice.

From time to time comments aimed at manipulating other investors may appear on these forums. Posters may post overly optimistic or pessimistic comments on particular stocks, in an attempt to influence other investors. It is not possible for management to moderate all posts so some misleading and inaccurate posts may still appear on these forums. If you do have serious concerns with a post or posts you should report a Terms of Use Violation (TOU) on the link above. Unless specifically stated persons posting on this site are NOT investment advisors and do NOT hold the necessary licence, or have any formal training, to give investment advice.


Thank you for visiting HotCopper

We have detected that you are running ad blocking software.

HotCopper relies on revenue generated from advertisers. Kindly disable your ad blocking software to return to the HotCopper website.

I understand, I have disabled my ad blocker. Let me in!

Need help? Click here for support.