Capitalism

  1. 479 Posts.
    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You sell one and buy a bull.
    > · Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    > · You sell them and retire on the income.
    >
    > AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enro-capitalism):
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
    > of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
    > debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four
    > cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six
    > cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
    > secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
    > seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
    > owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
    > president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance
    > sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
    >
    > AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    > · You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
    >
    > A FRENCH CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You go on strike because you want three cows.
    >
    > A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    > and produce 20 times the milk.
    > · You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market
    > them worldwide.
    >
    > A GERMAN CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
    > milk themselves.
    >
    > A BRITISH CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · Both are mad.
    >
    > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    > · You break for lunch.
    >
    > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You count them and learn you have five cows.
    > · You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    > · You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
    > · You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
    >
    > A SWISS CORPORATION:
    > · You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    > · You charge others for storing them.
    >
    > A CHINESE CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · You have 300 people milking them.
    > · You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
    > newsman who reported the numbers.
    >
    > A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
    > · You have two cows.
    > · That one on the left is kinda cute...
    >
 
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