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..and Saddam is writing children's books...

  1. groundzero

    27,430 posts.
    In between ammassing weapons of mass destruction, gassing Kurds and keeping GWB at bay, Saddam IS an author in his own right and has written some romantic novels and the odd opera or two.Now he has turned to writing verse for children:


    Perhaps you have heard of my foray into the world of modern literature. In my home country of Iraq, I am something of a best-selling author with a number of successful novels under my belt.

    But these tough times call for we in the influential literary world to reach out to the children -- as they are our future leaders. As such, I have written a children's book to be immediately included in the curriculum of all Middle Eastern schools.

    Sincerely

    Saddam Hussein

    GREEN EGGS AND SADDAM

    I am Saddam
    Saddam I am

    That Saddam-I-am!
    That Saddam-I-am!
    I do not like that Saddam-I-am!

    Would you like to fight Uncle Sam?
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.
    I would not like to fight Uncle Sam.

    What if we arm you with guns and knives?
    I would not like to be armed with guns and knives.
    Not even the promise of fifty wives.
    I would not like to fight Uncle Sam.
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.

    Would you like us to destroy your house?
    Would you like us to execute your spouse?
    Please do not target my house.
    Please do not threaten my spouse.
    I will not fight them here or there.
    I will not fight them anywhere.
    I would not like to fight Uncle Sam.
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.

    Perhaps we shall lock you in a box?
    Or infect you with small pox?
    Not in a box.
    Not with small pox.
    Not on my house.
    Not on my spouse.
    I will not fight them here or there.
    I will not fight them anywhere.
    I would not like to fight Uncle Sam.
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.

    Would you? Could you?
    Join the fight?
    Kill them! Kill them!
    They're in your sight.
    I would not, could not, line my sight.

    You may like it.
    You will see.
    You could hang them from a tree!
    I would not, could not from a tree.
    Your propaganda is lies! You let me be.
    I would not like it in a box.
    I would not like it with small pox.
    I would not like you to destroy my house.
    I would not like you to murder my spouse.
    I will not fight them here or there.
    I will not fight them anywhere.
    I would not like to fight Uncle Sam.
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.

    Your sons! Your sons!
    Your sons! Your sons!
    Could you, would you, give us your sons?
    Not my sons! I want them free!
    You leave them alone! Saddam! Leave them be!
    I would not like it in a box.
    I would not like it with small pox.
    I do not want your men at my house.
    I do not want them around my spouse.
    I will not fight them here or there.
    I will not fight them anywhere.
    I would not like to fight Uncle Sam.
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.

    Say!
    In the dark? Here in the dark!
    Would you, could you, in the dark?
    I would not, could not, in the dark.
    Would you, could you, from the hill?
    I would not, could not, from the hill.
    Not in the dark. I could not kill.
    I want my family to be free.
    I would not like it, Saddam, you see.
    Not on my house. Not in a box.
    Not on my spouse. Not with small pox.
    I will not fight them here or there.
    I will not fight them anywhere!
    You would not like to fight Uncle Sam?
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.

    Could you, would you, from point-blank?
    I would not, could not, from point-blank!
    Would you, could you, with a tank?
    I could not, would not, with a tank.
    I will not, will not, from point blank.
    I will not fight them in the rain.
    I will not attack them with a plane.
    Not in the dark! Not from a tree!
    Not on the ground! You let me be!
    I would not like it in a box.
    I would not like it with small pox.
    Please, Saddam, don't bomb my house.
    Please, Saddam, don't kill my spouse.
    I will not fight them here or there.
    I will not fight them ANYWHERE!
    I would not like to fight Uncle Sam!
    I would not like it, Saddam-I-am.

    You would not like it.
    So you say.
    Perhaps if we take your balls
    Then you may.
    Kill one and you may, I say.
    Saddam!
    If you will let me be, I will try it.
    You will see.


    Say!
    I like to kill Uncle Sam!
    I did! I liked it, Saddam-I-am!
    And I would kill them on a boat.
    And then I'd whistle a happy note
    And I will kill them in the rain.
    And in the dark. And with a plane.
    And I will bring my sons. And help to train all three
    It is good, so good, to kill you see!

    We'll lure them in and watch them toil
    We could even kill them on their soil
    And in the end, I'll be free
    I have the praise of Allah with me
    So I will kill them here and there.
    Say! I will kill them ANYWHERE!
    I do so like to kill Uncle Sam!
    Thank you!
    Thank you,
    Saddam-I-am!


    And I never thought he had it in him...

    GZ

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