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A history lesson

  1. madmacs

    25,374 posts.
    It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fifth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me Liberty or give me Death?'" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki. "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said. "Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?'" Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
    The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." She then heard a loud whisper, "Screw those damn Japs." "Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up: "McArthur, 1942 and Lee Iacocca, 1982" At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says: "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991"

    Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? XXXX this!" Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher: "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now with almost mob hysteria, someone said, "You little schit, if you say anything else, I'll kill you." Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh schit, now we're in BIG trouble!"

    Suzuki said, "Arthur Andersen, 2002"

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