50 shades of grey

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    The missus bought a Paperback,Down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bag;...T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

    Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appeared;The sight filled me with dread.

    In her left hand she held a rope;And in her right a whip!She threw them down upon the floor,And then began to strip.

    Well fifty years or so ago;I might have had a peek;But Mabel hasn't weathered well;She's eighty four next week!!

    Watching Mabel bump and grind;Could not have been much grimmer.And things then went from bad to worse;She toppled off her Zimmer!

    She struggled back upon her feet;A couple minutes later;She put her teeth back in and said"I am a dominator!!"

    Now if you knew our Mabel,You'd see just why I spluttered,I'd spent two months in tractionFor the last complaint I'd uttered.

    She stood there nude and nakedBent forward just a bitI went to hold her, sensual likeAnd stood on her left tit!

    Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;My God what had I done!She moaned and groaned then shouted out:"Step on the other one!!"

    Well readers, I can tell no more;Of what occurred that day.Suffice to say my jet black hair,Turned fifty shades of grey!!
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