A man walks into a pub with his monkey.

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    A man walks into a pub with his monkey.

    He orders a pint and sits down to drink it. While he`s sitting at the bar, his monkey is out of control. It jumps up on the pool table and eats the cue ball.

    The landlord runs up to the man and says, "Did you see what your stupid monkey just did?"

    "No, what did he do this time?" says the man.

    "He just ate the cue ball!" shouts the landlord.

    "I hope it kills the stupid bastard," says the man.

    About two weeks later the man comes back to the pub with his monkey. While he`s drinking at the bar his monkey is again out of control.

    The monkey finds a grape at the bar picks it up, sticks it up his bum and then pulls it out and eats it.

    The landlord having seen this asks the man, "Did you see what your sick monkey just did?"

    "No," says the man.

    "He just stuck a grape up his bum pulled it out and ate it," the landlord tells him.

    "Well, what do you expect?" asks the man. "Since that pool ball he measures everything first!"
 
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